Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
