Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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