Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
