Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
