i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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