Barsexuality is the new black.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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