I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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