She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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