rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize