I'm passing your future prison.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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