I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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