It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
