im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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