I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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