Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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