Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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