Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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