your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
