No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
