David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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