I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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