you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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