Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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