Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sober January is a disaster.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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