this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
