I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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