you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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