I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
