you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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