I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
