90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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