don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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