Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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