you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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