it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I fill condoms, not promises.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
