You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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