before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
