Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
