She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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