Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
