i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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