Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
