I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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