Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
