After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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