Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize