If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
