I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize