Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
