so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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