Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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