Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
