so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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