TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
