as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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