Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
