I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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