i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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