I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
