when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
