Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
