So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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