Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
